What follows is a written version of the eulogy delivered for my brother Mark at his service on November 12th..
I've included the music that was played before and after, and the piece below by Craig Cardiff is referenced in the eulogy itself. I've also included pictures of Mark throughout.
I'd offer here that for those looking to know Mark as we did and who are wishing to find their own completion, to carve out some time in a sacred space to take this all in. Listen to the music, read the words, sit with your own memories. Let him feel your love.
Ever heard the quote "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'? It's one of Benjamin Franklin's most well used quotes. I've heard it many times throughout my life. I've heard it from my parents, from my teachers, in boardrooms, and community meetings. Often, it's said with a knowing, cautionary gravitas. But where, exactly, is the warning in these words?
In a little city, on a little street, was a little house. Inside the little house, a little family had a little boy. The boy lived in a little room with his little brother, and went to a little school with a whole bunch of other little kids. None of this was noticed by the little boy, mostly because his imagination was so big.
As this little boy moved through his little life, little pieces of it began to fall apart in ways that he knew little about. He was often a little unsettled. These little pieces sometimes distanced him from the people around him. So he spent a lot of time not knowing what to make of his little self, alone with his big imagination.
My mother and I got into a conversation a couple of months ago. We've gotten into more of these lately, as we are both tracking on a deeper developmental path. This particular chat meandered on a number of soul stretching topics, from meditation to emotional regulation, eventually wrapping up with a long dissection of the Wizard of Oz as a metaphor for ego. In the time since, I've found myself returning to this conversation with colleagues and clients, finding it a useful peacemaking metaphor for self.